Progressing Backwards

Generally when you are pregnant you count the number of weeks and in normal, logical fashion the weeks became greater with each one that passes. Apparently I am not having a normal baby this time. Much like Merlin (King Arthur's mentor) in the Once and Future King, whose life progresses backward (he starts out old and grows young)...my pregnanacy seems to be doing the same.

When my test came back positive I checked back to when my last cycle was and called the doctor. The doctor's office scheduled me to come in for an ultrasound and the initial appointment Feb 4, which would place me at 7 weeks pregnant. Alas as my doctor was doing the ultrasound he started asking questions like are you on a regular 28 day cycle, etc. I was like, ummmm no...why? He said that based on his exam I would only be 6 weeks pregnant. As such he could not establish heartbeat because the baby is way too tiny so he told me to come back in a week for another ultrasound to "establish viability." Okay, if that phrase does not scare the crap out of you....Anywhooo...I go back yesterday for my 2nd ultrasound and to "establish viability,"...and guess what...yep..I am still 6 weeks pregnant. No, I am not kidding. The ultrasound tech did all the measurements and was able to see the heartbeat very faintly but would only place me at 6 weeks pregnant.

Now, I get to go back in 2 weeks on Feb 25 for my 3rd ultrasound to "establish growth" this time. Yea, you would think all the ultrasounds would be cool, but no. There is really not much to see and these ultrasounds are not of the on top of the tummy variety...they are the other ones. Great.

So, not only am I pregnant with a child who is apparently going back in time I get to be pregnant that much longer. I am thinking I would be at least 8 weeks by now but oh no, I am just 6 weeks (again and again).

I am pretty sure I burst into tears after leaving the doctors office. I am not a good pregnant person. In fact I really dislike being pregnant. I am grateful that I am a relatively healthy pregnant person, with little to no risks or complications but this is all really hard to take when I am constantly running to the bathroom to be sick..and/or feel like I have the flu all day everyday with no end in sight (I had the same ickiness with my other two for 20 weeks, yep for half of each pregnancy). Unfortunately I had a bad reaction to the nausea medication this time and I am quite sure I would rather vomit than have the other stuff I got.