Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Progressing Backwards

Generally when you are pregnant you count the number of weeks and in normal, logical fashion the weeks became greater with each one that passes. Apparently I am not having a normal baby this time. Much like Merlin (King Arthur's mentor) in the Once and Future King, whose life progresses backward (he starts out old and grows young)...my pregnanacy seems to be doing the same.

When my test came back positive I checked back to when my last cycle was and called the doctor. The doctor's office scheduled me to come in for an ultrasound and the initial appointment Feb 4, which would place me at 7 weeks pregnant. Alas as my doctor was doing the ultrasound he started asking questions like are you on a regular 28 day cycle, etc. I was like, ummmm no...why? He said that based on his exam I would only be 6 weeks pregnant. As such he could not establish heartbeat because the baby is way too tiny so he told me to come back in a week for another ultrasound to "establish viability." Okay, if that phrase does not scare the crap out of you....Anywhooo...I go back yesterday for my 2nd ultrasound and to "establish viability,"...and guess what...yep..I am still 6 weeks pregnant. No, I am not kidding. The ultrasound tech did all the measurements and was able to see the heartbeat very faintly but would only place me at 6 weeks pregnant.

Now, I get to go back in 2 weeks on Feb 25 for my 3rd ultrasound to "establish growth" this time. Yea, you would think all the ultrasounds would be cool, but no. There is really not much to see and these ultrasounds are not of the on top of the tummy variety...they are the other ones. Great.

So, not only am I pregnant with a child who is apparently going back in time I get to be pregnant that much longer. I am thinking I would be at least 8 weeks by now but oh no, I am just 6 weeks (again and again).

I am pretty sure I burst into tears after leaving the doctors office. I am not a good pregnant person. In fact I really dislike being pregnant. I am grateful that I am a relatively healthy pregnant person, with little to no risks or complications but this is all really hard to take when I am constantly running to the bathroom to be sick..and/or feel like I have the flu all day everyday with no end in sight (I had the same ickiness with my other two for 20 weeks, yep for half of each pregnancy). Unfortunately I had a bad reaction to the nausea medication this time and I am quite sure I would rather vomit than have the other stuff I got.

8 comments:

Aunt Ellen said...

Awwwwww---Ashley, I am so sorry that you feel so badly. I do remember how sick you were with the boys and certainly had wished that this one would be better for you. SOMEBODY needs to develop a better nausea med for you girls! Just want you to know that you are on my mind, and I love your updates---no matter how lousy you feel!! :) Hang in there---this just may be that little girl, making her entrance in a very distinct way! Keep us posted...I love you!

Kristi said...

Yes - I agree, the phrase, "establish viability" is pretty hard to think about. And, you certainly don't need to be pregnant longer than you already are - especially the FIRST trimester... HA! Hey, can you just drag out the second.....? What reaction did you have - to the Zofran? Bless your heart. Keep pushing forward - eventually you will progress... :)

Kristi said...

Oh, yeah - I really like your new blog layout!

Kristi said...

(sorry), AND THE TITLE! LOL!

Keysgal@QuietWater said...

Hang in there baby...you know the end result is worth all the bad stuff. I am so sorry you have to be so sick when you are pregnant. I can't even imagine feeling sick all day for that many weeks! Yuk!! And you did tell me the bad results of the nausea medicine. Whoa and double whoa. I agree with Aunt E, SOMEBODY ought to be able to figure out a med that will help with the icky feelings. Love you lots.

karen said...

You sure that first appointment was on February 4th? Sounds like you have your own private Groundhog's Day thing going on! Here's hoping you stumble into week #7 sometime...

*pab said...

I'm so sorry you are feeling bad again with this baby. It's hard to imagine, but it will pass, and when it's all done, you will have the best gift of all!

Epiphany Alone said...

Oh, Ashley. Paige posted at WM - I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers...