Sunday, November 1, 2009

Past Time

As usual, I have started several posts which are not finished that I had the best of intentions of finishing and posting. And as usual, these posts are languishing in my saved drafts.

Oh well.

So many things have happened since my last post. I really did have the best of intentions of writing about them individually. I really dislike doing one large post giving just the brief highlights but in the interest of getting this all down here comes another all inclusive post.

In no particular order here is what my life has been.

The second of my three cats passed away Oct 11. Each time I lose a kitty I feel like I lose a little of my connection to my past. I had Buca for 13 years. 13 years in which I graduated college, got my first job, moved back home, felt the lose of a good man I considered a brother, devastated by the lose of my father, experienced depression and panic attacks, met my husband, got married, had three children, bought my first and second homes...the list is just endless. Any yet with all these things that have happened I know there is so much more waiting in my future.

Todd got a second award at school. He was awarded the best writer for the month of September for his class. I am just so proud he is doing so well at school. His teachers say he is quite the I get really excited when he gets an academic award. I really worry about him. Kevin says I baby him too much. I have no way of explaining my connection to Todd other than he is my heart. Don't get me wrong. I love all my children equally but Todd is just something else for me.

Kyle is rocking right along. He is so adaptable you would never know our life (and his) has been in such turmoil lately. Kevin and I met with his teacher for our conference and we learned nothing new that we did not already know...he is extremely bright (one of the smartest in his class). He is still a little self centered but extremely sensitive. He thinks on a higher level making it hard for him to make friends. He drives me nuts but I have long ago determined that it is because he is No joke. I find myself getting aggravated with Kyle over the same stuff I get aggravated with Kevin. It is really creepy how close our kids mirror us.

Little C is doing as well as she can. She is having some serious eating issues. We have taken her to the GI doc and he is confident it is just reflux and irritated esophagus. I am not too sure. Seems a little simple for the way she is acting but who knows. I have to trust that the doctors know what they are doing. C just started a plan with meds. If the first does not work, we go on to the second, etc. I really hope this works. I am terrified that she is not getting what she needs to thrive. She is already struggling with weight gain because of her heart. C did just fine with her tummy surgery. She was only in the hospital for 4 full days, the 5th day she was discharged. I am very grateful for all the fabulous doctors who took care of her. We have recently learned that the cardio docs want her to have her Glen around 4 months of age. She turns 4 months old Dec 19. We will get a more firm surgery plan on Friday. I have so many feeling about this but I just cannot put them here now. I hope to do so soon.

Paige and my good friend Megan hosted a beautiful baby shower for me and little C. I was so overwhelmed with how beautiful everything was. The decor, the theme, the drinks, the food...everything was just so sweet and thoughtful. I was truly blown away by how many friends were able to attend and how little C's story is spreading. So many people are praying and thinking of her. I am so humbled knowing how many people care for us and Carolena.

These are the things I hold on to most when I get so frustrated that I hit my solid bedroom door and almost break my hand. I would highly advise hitting something much, much softer.

And no matter how truly pathetic I feel...I know how much worse everything can be. I AM grateful C is doing so well but I am only human and I can only handle so much before I break.

I know there is so much more but I just do not have the time. I would like to put out to everyone who is praying for Carolena (whether you read my blog or not) that Kevin and I feel her being surrounded by these prayers and that they are working. She will not be healed but she will have a great life. Kevin says she is not a miracle baby, she is a blessed baby. I agree. She is blessed and we thank all of you who says prayers for her and us. Thank you.


Keysgal@QuietWater said...

Beautifully stated sweet girl. Hang in there. You have an inner strength that you cannot always see but it is there. And no more hitting doors...ouch, that hurts :) Carolena is a blessed baby and she is doing well because of those prayers being lifted in addition to having the best medical care by some really awesome docs. You know what you said about Todd is something Paige has already said. He has a sweet heart just like his mama. I was just thinking this morning about how much I love all my grands and I love them all with the same voraciousness but there is something just special about each one that grabs my heart. Love you.

Lizz said...

Carolena is in my prayers along with your family. You are blessed she is doing well.