Ruminating

I have this blog for me. I write what I want because I can. I try very hard to not pass judgment on others because I am not God and God is the only one who can impose judgment. I do not appreciate sanctimonious, holier than thou, self righteous people passing judgment on what I believe.

Last I checked I live in a country that not only allows but celebrates religious freedom. So many citizens have lost their lives protecting our freedoms, including our freedom to have whatever relationship with God we choose to have. Should you feel compelled to leave a comment on any post I write dealing with MY beliefs, please do so in a manner that tells me what YOU believe and why. Do not leave me comments about how I am wrong and I should change my mind.

Now that I have that out of the way, I have a few more things that I have been thinking of.

1. If God already knows and sanctions how everything is going to turn out, what exactly is the point of praying. Is God going to change His mind simply because I pray for a more favorable outcome for me? Does a whole group of people praying have more weight than a single person praying? I choose to believe that God does not have everything all mapped out yet...that praying does make a difference.

2. I believe that Jesus would be the very first person to say that He is not perfect. He would say He could have worshiped more, studied more, helped more. I do not think Jesus ever intended for us to think he was "perfect." I think all the trials He went through were to show us that even though we are not "perfect" we still must have faith that God exists and that we have a chance of ever lasting life in heaven.

3. Even though my belief that God makes mistakes runs counter to every popular religious belief, I choose to hold on to my thought that God is fallible. I have problems thinking that God is punishing me for some misdeed I have done. From all that I have seen if God was the punishing sort then all the "bad" people would have long since been struck down.

4. I also choose to believe that things do happen for a reason, that there is not total randomness at work. I think God sees all and is willing but not able to keep all evils things from happening.

5. I am no different (better or worse) than any other mother who has a child with health issues. I do not have the market on being angry this happened to me. I am allowed to feel as I do. There will be people who are in worse situations than me, saying what is she complaining about, look at my problems. But there will also be people who look at me and my child and think, thank goodness that is not me. I think everyone has the right to feel what they feel and not have other people tell them to suck it up it could be worse.

6. I think it is very easy for someone who has never had their innocence shattered or their lives rocked by traumatic events to pass judgment on those lives have been touched by tragedy and who do question God and their beliefs. In my experience the people who are spouting sanctimonious crap are people who have lived nice, normal, boring lives where nothing bad (but nothing really good) has happened. I think it is very similar to the person who believes that a murderer can be saved and should not face the death penalty until that person's loved one is terrorized by the murderer. It is amazing to me how quickly that person is willing to see that same murderer they thought should be saved now be put to death.

7. I think God wants us to question our faith and beliefs. We can never grow in our faith if we are blindly lead around like sheep never questioning why things happen. God gives us free will. I think he intends for us to use our free will to find the right relationship with God for each of us.